


Silence

by thilesluna



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Feelings, M/M, Sabriel - Freeform, sabrielweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-11
Updated: 2013-07-11
Packaged: 2017-12-19 04:44:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/879603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thilesluna/pseuds/thilesluna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam notices something on Gabriel's arm and then he finds out what it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silence

It's been three years since the angels fell to Earth; three years since they were stripped of their Grace and plummeted to wander among the humans.  Castiel still stiffens in public when they come across a former angel, panics that they'll look at him with accusation and contempt even though Metatron is the one to blame.

It's only a soft touch from Dean or Sam that unfreezes him and brings him back.

It's been two years since Sam opened the bunker door to Gabriel smiling tiredly and collapsing on their front stoop. He was covered in bruises and cuts, a particularly nasty gash down his side. He'd slept for days and refused to answer any questions when he finally did wake. He just ruffled Sam's hair the best he could from his bed and said "You need a haircut, Samsquatch." He fits effortlessly in their lives, which is strange but nice.

It's been a year since their last break in finding a way to help the angels back to heaven and seven months since Gabriel took Cas and disappeared for two weeks.  Dean was worried, pacing until Castiel called to assure that they both were fine, but still refused to actually say where they were.

They keep the bunker cool because for starters, it’s underground and it’s fairly easy to do, and the Winchesters have always been fans of layers, so it just makes sense. Gabriel complained when he first got there, but over time, has taken to dressing like a mini-version of both the brothers—and Castiel, who took to army jackets like a duck to water (sometimes Sam catches Dean watching the former angel in his jeans and flannel with something that borders on fear because he must look just like the drug-addled Cas from Dean’s first, out of order, trip to 2013).

But regardless, because of this and the fact that they’re still dancing around this strange thing between them and neither can seem to make a move, Sam almost never sees Gabriel stripped down until the day they’re alone in the bunker and the other man spills coffee all down his front. Gabriel curses and starts shedding layer after layer, down to his undershirt. Sam’s doing his best not to laugh, but before one can even fall from his mouth, he sees something peeking out from under the white of Gabriel’s sleeve. He only catches a glimpse of it before the former angel is running from the room screaming about how being human is possibly the worst thing that’s ever happened to anyone.

It sticks in Sam’s head though, because the black lines—they looked like a tattoo.

\--

It turns out that’s exactly what they were. Sam walks into Gabriel’s room without knocking and finds him sitting shirtless on the bed, his back to the door. Sam’s breath catches in his throat.

Gabriel’s back is covered in thick lines of ink, massive wings spreading over his shoulders with tips that end midway down his arms. The tattoo is beautiful, intricate and detailed. It’s mostly black, though there’s shading and what looks like a yellow-gold running through the feathers and dark Enochian letters littering them.

Sam can imagine how they look when Gabriel stands tall, the width of his shoulders surprising on his frame, but now the former angel is slumped, almost folded in on himself where he sits. It pulls the tattoo, stretches the wings until they look like they’re straining, trying to wrap him up and protect him.

It never occurred to Sam what it would be like for an angel to lose his wings. He imagines it’s similar to losing a limb, but then—the loss of the wings came with the stripping of every single thing Gabriel was. Not for the first time, Sam wonders how Gabriel came back from the dead and then immediately lost everything he’d known.

The former angel has his head in his hands, elbows on his knees. “Stop hovering, Sam,” he says, catching the hunter off guard. “In or out.”

His feet move before he even recognizes telling them to and he sits next to Gabriel, close enough for the other’s body to tilt when the bed dips. “So that’s where you guys went.”

Gabriel tilts his head to look at Sam, still resting on one hand. He smiles but it’s half-hearted. “It was Castiel’s idea, actually.”

That surprises Sam. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Gabriel nods. “I think he was looking for—I don’t know, a way to punish himself? And I guess a reminder of what we were.”

“It wasn’t his fault,” Sam says firmly.

“I know that, Sammich,” assures the other man. “I know that. It’s gonna take him some time though. You think Dean forgives himself? Or you?” Sam blanches at that. “I got a lot on my conscious too, Sam. We’re quite a group here,” Gabriel sighs.

“Yeah I guess so.”

The smaller man scratches at his arm, just where the tip of one wing ends. He catches Sam watching him and drops his hand, flushing. “They’re a lot, I know.”

“Gabriel—“

“I wasn’t going to get them originally. I just went with Cas for moral support,” Gabriel continues. “But I—I don’t know. I thought I wouldn’t want the reminder? But—it’s—“

“You don’t have to,” Sam says. “Tell me I mean. I know what—well I don’t know what exactly what you’re going through, but I understand. I can leave if you want to be alone.”

Gabriel stares at him and they share an awkward moment of quiet. Sam nods and moves to stand, but the other man grabs his arm. “Sam, I’ve been alone my whole life. Why—God, why in the hell would I want that?”

Sam swallows roughly. “I’m sorry.”

The ex-angel laughs. “Why? What are you sorry about?”

“That you were alone for so long,” he answers.

Gabriel smiles sadly. “Me too.”

“Your wings—they’re beautiful, Gabriel,” Sam blurts out. “I—sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Gabriel laughs. “I’m glad they look good. It’d be a shame if they looked like shit.”

“They don’t. Not at all.”

“Wish I could have showed you my real ones,” the other man says. “They were—they were something else.”

“Did they look like this?” Sam asks, touching Gabriel’s arm where the ink ends. He can’t help but notice the way the man shivers at the press of his fingers.

“Not really. Well, sort of. It’s hard to say because—angel wings aren’t really _solid_. They’re more like a feeling than something you can really see.”

“Then how would you show me?”

“I can—“ Gabriel shakes his head, “I _could_ make them visible. It took effort but if I wanted you could see all six of them.”

“Six?”

“Yeah,” the man smiles. “Not bad, huh?”

Sam offers his own smile in return. “Yeah.” They sit together for a moment but the silence is less deafening this time. It’s more comfortable, like long treks with Dean in the Impala to a hunt. “You said you weren’t going to get the tattoo at first?”

Gabriel sighs. “I wasn’t.”

“Why?”

“I was gone from Heaven for a very long time, not like Castiel,” he replies. “I wasn’t as involved, but I used to listen in every now and then to the ‘Angel Radio’ as Dean calls it.” Sam nods and waits for Gabriel to continue. It takes a moment. “The first year, after I—after I came back, I didn’t even really notice it. I mean, knew the angels had fallen, I knew I was human but it didn’t hit me until later that I couldn’t—I couldn’t _hear_ anything.” He runs a shaking hand through his hair.

“I went on a ‘bender’, according to Cas,” Gabriel goes on. “I wanted to drown out the silence in my head, if that makes any sense.” Sam thinks it does. “I—I was killing myself,” the man says quietly.

“Why did you find us?” Sam asks, because he’s been wondering for two years.

“Castiel found me, actually,” Gabriel says which surprises Sam again but he remembers when Cas disappeared for a week all that time ago.

“What?”

“He found me in an alley, covered in my own puke, still drunk from the night before.”

“Jesus,” gasps Sam.

Gabriel smiles wryly. “I was more than a mess.” He plucks at a string on the bedspread. “He didn’t tell me I was a fuck up or that I was stupid for doing it. He just said, ‘I’m so sorry’ and helped me off the street.” Sam thinks that Cas will never stop amazing him. He’s just as fucked up as the rest of them, but damnit if he doesn’t try. Gabriel continues, “He told me where you guys were and that I would be welcome. He told me what he’d done and I could tell, I could see how broken he was on the inside and it fucking killed me.”

“I’m sorry,” Sam says even though he knows it can’t possibly do anything to help. “Jesus, I’m so sorry.”

“He was always the best of us,” Gabriel responds softly. When he looks at Sam again his eyes are red and he laughs as he wipes at them, embarrassed. “Sorry. Wow, looks like I’m still a mess.”

Sam takes Gabriel’s hand in his. “It’s okay,” he says. “Gabriel—“ and he doesn’t know how to say it so he just leans in and presses his lips against the other man’s. Gabriel makes a noise in the back of his throat and his free hand grabs Sam’s shirt and pulls him closer until the hunter is pushing the smaller man back onto the bed and situating himself over him.

When they part, Gabriel’s eyes are still closed and he rests his forehead against Sam’s breathing harshly. Sam can’t bear to look away from the swollen part of the other man’s lips and the flush rising on his cheeks that goes all the way down to his bare chest.

“Gimme a minute,” Gabriel says. “I’ve been thinking about that since Elysian Fields, Jesus.”

That startles a laugh out of Sam. “Really?”

Gabriel finally opens his eyes to glare up at him. “Have you seen you?”

“Too busy looking at you,” Sam says.

The other man groans. “That is the _worst_ line.”

“Yeah well I don’t have to worry since I’ve already got you in bed,” the hunter points out.

“Oh my god,” Gabriel groans again. “You’re hopeless aren’t you?”

Sam brackets the other man’s head with his elbows and his hands find their way into Gabriel’s hair, stroking it softly. “I’ve wanted this for a long time too,” he admits.

“Good to know this isn’t a pity thing,” the former angel laughs.

Sam kisses him again until they’re breathless. “Not pity,” he says through kiss-bitten lips.

“Good.” Gabriel pushes at his shoulder until they roll so Sam is on his back and the smaller man can fit himself against his side. The hunter’s hand goes immediately to the tattoo. He splays his fingers over the sliver of skin between the wings and Gabriel shudders against him. Gabriel fits his face into the side of Sam’s neck and breathes against the skin there.

They have a lot to talk about and they’ll get there eventually, but for now Sam thinks he’s just going to do his best to fill the silence that’s in Gabriel’s head.

**Author's Note:**

> I started this as a porn piece (tattooKink) but then I ran out of time so i recycled it. :) I'm on tumblr with the same name!


End file.
